Now I see

If someone asked you where you start in terms of getting wisdom, you know what to say, right? You know, even if you’ve forgotten the reference, that it’s ‘the fear of the Lord.’ Now, in your journal, write out what that phrase means. Your answer must be at least 2 sentences long.

Next, read through the following passages/verses and write out AT LEAST one aspect of the fear of the Lord highlighted in that portion of scripture. Take special time to clarify how the fear of the Lord is illuminated in Ps. 34. Write these out in your journal as well.

Ps. 19:8-9

Ps. 34:11-22

Ps. 111:10

Pr. 1:7

Pr. 1:27-28

Pr. 2:4-5

Pr. 8:13

Pr. 10:27

Pr. 15:16

Pr. 15:33

Pr. 16:6

Pr. 22:4

Pr. 23:17

Acts 9:31

2 Cor. 5:10-12

Now, as before, write out what the fear of the Lord is. Why is it the beginning of wisdom? How should it affect a normal day?

Lastly, write out what the fear of the Lord may look like as:

1/You go to Starbucks and its crowded,

2/You take a walk during a cool evening, &

3/You visit the dentist

I hope your day is filled with wisdom.

Psst.

I hate some of the things I’ve done in life; I just hate them. I’ve done stupid things, selfish ones, malicious things, and greedy ones. And so have you. I have proof. Proof which will blow your cover for good and, with what you’ve done, you’ll never be able to live it down, publicly recover, or ever be able to pretend to have a flawless past, unbesmirched of your own shameful deeds.

You are exposed. We all know what you’ve done.

What’s your internal reaction to this? If you had none, imagine this scenario:

You are at a family wedding - your own. The ceremony is over and you’re at your special table in the reception hall filled with your life’s most significant people. You are content and overjoyed, awash in the elation of the day and its company. Your jokes are funny, all the food good, the music - either comical or fitting - transitions the night perfectly and, for the briefest of moments you toy with the thought that you may be experiencing a crumb from heaven’s table. “Feel this,” you tell yourself, “Ponder it in your heart and treasure it there like a gold-banded tribute to the joy of this new bond. Remember this.” Your eyes are closed in contented rapture and your smile, impossible to hide.

Your phone buzzes, alerting you of a text, “I know all of it that you’ve done. Every shameful thing in life your responsible for doing and the whole room is about to be let it on it and find out how bad you can get, deep down.” As you read in shock, the author approaches the toasting mic with drink in hand. There’s no time. He starts to speak.

Now, what is your reaction? Try to put yourself in these shoes, to feel your stomach fall out, straight to the bottom. What is your reaction to the room hearing how dark you can be, deep down.

If the first reaction is panic, mine too. But whatever your first reaction would be to the exposure of your worst thoughts and deeds to your most significant people, what does it tell you?

1. Does it show you secretly feel a need for others to affirm you for you to feel worth something?
2. Does it show that you know the value of a good reputation and hate to lose it?
3. Does it mean that you know that, regardless of how you feel about these things, you anticipate a lot of headache?
4. A combination of the above?

Think about that for a moment, maybe all day. What does this tell you about yourself? Also, what does the gospel have to say to both the situation and your reaction?

Let me suggest one perspective on the way the gospel works in situations like this. My discipler in college is and was an itinerant speaker. At one conference, a somewhat corrosive young man approached him and asked, “I have it on good authority that you’ve done these bad things (listed them) in your past and I’m prepared to tell this entire room (of 400 people). What are you going to do about it?” Without a moment’s pause he approached the microphone and got the room’s attention, “Excuse me, excuse me everyone. This man here is prepared to tell you some bad things I’ve done. I’m going to give him the microphone and, when he’s finished, I’ll take it bad and fill in any he left out.” With that, he offered the floor to his accuser. Refusing, the man whispered, “You’re crazy!” My discipler, with stampede in his eyes, responded, “No! I’m free. I’m free and I won’t be blackmailed by sin.”

Resolve in your heart that you won’t, either. But, to make it more than just a hopeful wish, think back again to your past sins being exposed for all to see and ask yourself, “What does the gospel have to say to this?” It’s one of the best questions you’ll encounter.

The Limited

I got to sit in on the filming of some promotional videos featuring our LIVE speakers. Now I know why the attendees from those conferences have such good things to say about them; Deb Bell’s second session was Oswald Chambers-esque. She responded to a question about coping with the homeschooled highschooler who feels like she’s missing out on the life in a traditional school setting. Deb shared a story from her own family which she prefaced with (something like) this, “You know, we often think of God’s blessings coming through the opportunities He opens up, but we need to help our kids see that sometimes, it’s the limitations which are the greatest gifts.” Just so you got it: Not always the successes, but also the limitations.

We watched a satirical biography in church a few months ago about a Christian named Kevin who is always happy as life always works out for him. For instance, though he lost his keys, in looking for them, he found a couple hundred dollars in the couch (and the keys, too). When times were tough at work, he not only kept his job but got a promotion. Kevin’s clouds are so silver-lined that he regularly has to polish them. The point of the video was that the Christian life isn’t always one of immediate blessing, that sometimes we don’t even see how things work out for the good and it is disingenuous to portray the Christian life as if we did.

I discussed that video with a friend this past Sunday. We affirmed that it would be wrong to deny the reality of prolonged aches and unanswered problems, but that it’s quite true that everything does work out for the good (cf. Rom. 8:28-30) - and we are the chief examples of this. We couldn’t have gotten into worse situations than to fall away from God and live in rebellion against Him, yet, here we are, bound for heaven and, ultimately, worked out for the good. I saw an image online today which said, “Everything works out in the end. If everything isn’t worked out, this isn’t the end.” It gives me hope that when my life includes a limitation or a loss, God may have the object of future thanks waiting within them.

I want you to read a prayer which was in my devotion yesterday. I say read it only because it’s quite a daunting series of requests and I’d hate for you to ask God for this sort of treatment without thinking about it. Nonetheless, it touches on powerful ways God uses even the worst things we can see, the worst things we can be, for the good of those who love Him. Pray it if you dare.

O persistent God,

deliver me from assuming your mercy is gentle.

Pressure me that I may grow more human,

not through the lessening of my struggles,

but through an expansion of them....

Deepen my hurt

until I learn to share it and myself openly,

and my needs honestly.

Sharpen my fears until I name them

and release the power I have locked in them and they in me.

Accentuate my confusion

until I shed those grandiose expectations

that divert me from the small, glad gifts

of the now and the here and the me.

Expose my shame where it shivers,

crouched behind the curtains of propriety,

until I can laugh at last

through my common frailties and failures,

laugh my way to becoming whole.

- Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace